MinnesotaSportsScene.com

TE Visanthe Shiancoe.

LB Vinny Ciurciu.

WR Bobby Wade.

You call this free agency?

Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress sure does. He’s selling these mediocre prospects as the keys to turning his 6-10 debut season into a 10-6 playoff contender. Sorry if I find that a bit hard to swallow. Childress would have an easier time selling my Las Vegas luxury condos that I have ability to afford!

As Judge Judy became famous for saying, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, Coach Childress. I have an IQ above 9. I can tell the difference between last year’s free agency season and this year’s.

Sure, it’s nice to talk about putting together a team of stellar character; but even in that pursuit, you are still responsible to field a team. The Vikings have inexperience at QB, virtually nothing at WR, and an aging defense. Help is needed just about everywhere, they have money to spend, and they’re sitting on it.

I’ll grant that it’s not a stellar list of free agents this season, but one has to think that a bit more could be found on the NFL scrapheap than these three players. I stood behind Coach Childress getting a second season. I won’t stand behind a third season if we go 6-10 again, and right now that’s looking optimistic.

The Vikings have traded away or cut all their stars; there’s no sign the team is acquiring anyone who’ll make fans forget the glory days of Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss. They may have never reached the Super Bowl, but at least their teams were always exciting to watch.

Even after a coaching change midseason, the Timberwolves are still struggling. Coach Randy Wittman, making the best of a bad situation, hasn’t been able to help the Wolves improve over the pace they were on when ownership let go of Coach Dwayne Casey. Now there’s talk heating up that maybe the best way to rebuild the Wolves is to trade The Franchise and get as much as possible for him - potentially from the Chicago Bulls, who have the most to offer.

Such a trade holds some appeal. Garnett is 30, though he has at least five more good seasons in him. Yet a trade with Chicago could net the Wolves one or two first-round picks, as well as a decent young power forward like Tyrus Thomas, as well as - perhaps - SF Luol Deng.

It’s an intriguing proposal, except for a couple things. First, it would strip the Wolves of their only remaining established superstar player. And second, GM Kevin McHale would be almost guaranteed to foul it up.

This is the GM who saddled Minnesota with PG Marko Jaric in exchange for PG Sam Cassell, and gave up a first-round draft pick in the process. He’s also the GM who gave SG/SF Wally Szerbiak away to Boston for SG Ricky Davis and a bunch of extras - and gave up another first rounder in the process.

Odds are, with McHale at the helm, if the Wolves DID land a deal with Chicago for Garnett, it would be Minnesota, not Chicago, giving up two first-round picks. I would hate to see Garnett finish his career with a team other than the Timberwolves. But if it has to happen, McHale’s the last one to trust in putting the deal together, whether it’s trading Garnett away or booking Orlando vacations.

McHale has to go.

Not that long ago, University of Minnesota athletic director Joel Maturi was the subject of such criticism and derision, he may have been looking to invest in some extra death insurance. My oh my, how one decision, one action, can change a person’s fate.

In what is undoubtedly the biggest hiring coup in the history of the University of Minnesota, Maturi has signed coaching legend Tubby Smith, formerly of the Kentucky Wildcats, to a five-year contract that, if he meets performance incentives, could pay him as much as $3.0 million per season, though only about $1.7 million is guaranteed.

Short of landing oft-rumored and oft-hoped-for Pistons coach Flip Saunders, Tubby Smith is the best possible hire to help turn the Gophers around. Smith has a career winning percentage of .750, is a proven college coach, has landed the Wildcats in the NCAA tourney every single one of his last 10 seasons, and even won a national championship. There’s simply no one better-skilled… well, maybe Coach K, but he wasn’t going to leave Duke any time soon.

Coach Smith will have a huge challenge ahead of him. Next year’s scholarships are already committed and so it’ll be the 2008-09 season before Smith can even start assembling a roster of his own making. In the meantime, he’ll be saddled with a squad that bottomed out and posted the worst season in Gophers hoops history.

If Coach Smith can even get this team to about .500 next season, he’ll be hailed as a legend. If he can get them back into the NCAAs within three years, his place in Gophers history will be cemented in stone. Here’s hoping Tubby can turn things around and make his association a lasting, winning cap to a stellar NCAA coaching career.

March Madness is one of the most exciting times in all of sports, short of the Super Bowl. But despite the excitement it generates every year, I certainly hope the University of Minnesota and Gophers athletic director Joel Maturi don’t get swept away in the excitement and hire someone based solely on this year’s tournament performance.

Last I heard, the Gophers still have a shot at landing Flip Saunders of the Detroit Pistons, a former Wolves coach who - rumor has it - would love to end his coaching career at his alma mater. If he lets this opportunity slip by, and the coach who slips in is successful, Coach Saunders may miss his last opportunity to fulfill that dream.

Yet Saunders really can’t commit to the Gophers until the end of the Pistons’ season any more than a Minnesota insurance agent can sell Raleigh North Carolina real estate. Waiting for Saunders could be a great move, if he actually makes the move to the Gophers.

But with March Madness reaching its pinnacle, it could be very tempting for Maturi and the Gophers to hire a hot tournament coach and have someone “on the job.” Yet this would be a good idea if - and only if - Maturi is certain that Saunders is NOT going to make the move.

Of the hot tournament coaches, there are some interesting names.

UNLV’s Lon Kruger is looking to be one of the hottest, guiding his 7-seed Runnin’ Rebels past 2-seed Wisconsin this past weekend. Yet despite this upset, is Kruger really the person the Gophers need? He’s not an especially inspiring personality, and he’s not known as a top-flight recruiter, which is needed more than anything.

Butler’s Todd Lickliter is also an intriguing name, but his availability is questionable. However, look for his name to pop up more if he can upset 1-seed Florida next weekend to advance to the Elite Eight.

Southern Illinois’ Chris Lowry is promising, but is he ready for Big 10 basketball? Dan Monson’s rise and fall in Minnesota serves as an object lesson there. By contrast, Tennessee’s Bruce Pearl would be an excellent hire, but the question is whether he’d see Minnesota as a step up.

That would be a definite “no” for Memphis Coach John Calipari, who, if he’s headed anywhere, would be more likely to go to Michigan than Minnesota. Washington State’s Tony Bennett’s name has lost some of its luster after Vanderbilt ousted his team in the Round of 32 this past weekend.

Of course, the second-best name after Saunders isn’t even coaching right now. Unless Michigan signs him first, Rick Majerus would be the second-best option to Flip Saunders.

But Flip is still “our guy.”

Former Cretin-Derham Hall QB Chris Weinke, 34, who won a Heisman Trophy at Florida State and spent all of his pro career so far with the Carolina Panthers, was released by Carolina recently. He’s made it known he’d love nothing better than to become a Minnesota Viking. Weinke might be the “experienced veteran backup” the purple and gold need behind Tavaris Jackson, the 2006 second-round pick who is projected to start next fall.

The Panthers never committed to Weinke as a starter, partially because he went through college football at a much older age than most kids do; he was in his mid-20s after spending his post-high school years trying to work his way up the minor league baseball system, but never cracking the majors.

It doesn’t take budgeting software to figure out that Weinke would be a good risk for the Vikes. Ownership could pay him a small but incentive-laden contract, much the way they did Brad Johnson the past two season, and yet his age would not pose a threat to T-Jack.

This one ought to be a no-brainer for Coach Childress and his “kickass offense.”